Snow! What to do?

As Meow posted we are in for some heavy snow today and tomorrow here in the MidWest. But I came up with an idea of what to do! We might even do it twice tomorrow. I wouldn't want to give too many details but my right hand has healed well, very well.

Love to all,   Lash

GRATITUDE

I'm pecking with one finger again because I had my third hand operation (no, two hands, 3 operations) yesterday. I am grateful because I have a loving wife who drove me to the hospital, waited with me, brought me home, is taking care of me and just bought a rust-colored mum for me, my favorite flower. Yesterday I received not only excellent care but also loving compassionate care.

Today I have been drifting along contentedly with hydrocodone-induced Morpheus and dreams. Meow's new blog has stirred me into one of my own-gratitude for our new DD relationship. It has been a gift to me to provide a safe place for Meow to voluntarily let go and explore those "dark,secret frightening places" and "bring them into the light". DD has given me the quiet but powerful masculinity and dominance she has to feel before she can let go, knowing she can trust me to love and protect her regardless of what may come up. I never use my masculinity and dominance to force her, rather that strength is a lifeline while she explores frightening places.

My new strength in masculinity has been an absolute seachange for me-finally, in my 60's,  knowing I am becoming the man I've always wanted to be.

VACATION!

It's supposed to be a sunny warm Autumn weekend so we are off today for vacation here in our beautiful Rocky Mountains. We may not have time for much blogging so we wish everyone a safe and happy weekend! Love,  Lash

LOVE OUR LURKERS DAY IV

This is a special day to welcome lurkers and invite you to comment and join our community. Welcome!

Winter outside, fire dancing in the fireplace...

and a warm inviting bed-sounds like a great weekend for Spanking! and such...(big grin).

Winter weather has arrived early in the high country; 4-5 inches of snow last pm, a low of 17 degrees (F) tonight and 4-6 inches of snow tonight and tomorrow. A nice relaxing intimate weekend with my Meow sounds wonderful! I might even have time to catch up on commenting on other blogs which I have neglected when I had that nasty cold.

I just remembered Hot Toddies;  4-6 oz Irish Whiskey, brown sugar and a touch of cinnamon or cloves-a few of those helped pass a Winter's evening. Fond memories as I'm entering the evening of my 20th year in AA, clean and sober. I have more time now for Meow.

Love,   Lash

Happiness and Contentment

Those two words didn't used to be associated with me, but now they are. This morning, during our after spanking cuddle, Meow asked me how I felt when I was spanking her. I enjoy seeing her being obedient and submissive, coming to me naked for a cuddle, lying over my knee when I tell her to and taking whatever spanking I decide to give, and then cuddling again. I do enjoy spanking her. I don't specifically like giving her pain, but I like the power exchange between us and I know it's something we both need. I am now a "real" man and I enjoy that immensely. We are both much happier and are having a lot more fun living together. I even love Meow's sassy times.

Love,  Lash

Magical Hike Today

Meow and I went hiking again this am. Weather was great-about 36 degrees (F) when we started. We only went 3.5 miles but had a lot more (steep) up and down today. It had snowed just enough to leave a light icing on the logs and ground. When the sun came out it warmed enough that it seemed to be raining from the snow melting off the trees. We could see the "rain" and mist rising off the ground while looking toward the sun-simply beautiful! We also saw several turkeys; when we stopped for a lakeside snack several ducks were crawling on our boots begging for a handout. A magical hike with my Meow.  Lash.

POTPOURRI

I'm feeling good. I just cuddled with Meow, spanked her beautiful naked ass and then we cuddled again. What a great way to start a day!

The bull elk are bugling, fighting their buddies of the past 9 months and creating harems of cows- the rut has started. There will be a lot of calves born next May and June.

Aspenglow is starting with hues of yellow and orange. I just love this time of the year in the mountains.

I loved Davey and Daisychain's blogs about word usage here in the US and across the pond and also the slaughter of the English language here in the US. For example the rampant change of adjectives into verbs. Our media is one of the worst culprits! I've asked some of my learned colleagues about their use of the language and I get this drivel about how we don't need rules to make things more difficult, we just need to get the message across. It's interesting that these same people are golf or tennis addicts. I've asked if we don't need rules to get in the way in our language why don't they just get rid of the net in tennis-much easier and you can still hit the ball back and forth. Of course I get the "how stupid can you be?" look. In their sports rules are all important.

Florida Dom continues his excellent posts noting the (poor, female) Muslims arrested by the religious police for drinking alcohol or wearing slacks who are to be beaten in public. I do not understand this fanatic ideology. (My tongue is bloody because I am restraining myself from discussing fanatic ideology here in the US). But I just realized that I often read blogs by (mainly) women who are begging to be treated as an absolute slave, including frequent beatings! And my reaction to these is very different from my reaction to the Muslim women. What schizophrenia! As to wanting to be a slave to what sometimes seems to a domineering jerk-I don't understand. I find refuge in my one and only quote by Jung:

"But things that lie hopelessly apart in theory lie close to each other without contradiction in the paradoxical soul of man...

Carl Gustav Jung

Freud and Psychoanalysis

Common Works, page 754.

I have stated how our relationship is based on mutual love, respect and honesty and we keep it simple. We read a lot of blogs, choose what we want and leave the rest. But I tend to agree with CD and Sara in the current ongoing war over "honesty and lying". Seeing as how it reminds me of the two hour 300 cannon duel preceding Pickett's charge on July 3, 1863 I am not going to get involved any further.

Love and Peace, Lash

August-Frustrating month: I had my right carpal tunnel decompression done on

Aug. 3rd and it went well. But I have been getting Physical Therapy (think pain) and daily exercises (think pain) on my left arm and hand for three weeks because the ulnar nerve is being very slow to heal after surgery. I was able to spank Meow with my left hand using the strap. She was a good sport about it but the spankings were not up to my standards. About 8 days after surgery I was able to start spanking with my right hand with the Cane-iac and the strap with much better spankings. But on the 14th a curb reached up and tripped my left foot and I fell onto chip/seal pavement. I got a hematoma in the incision in my right wrist, road rash and several cracked/bruised ribs. Again several days without spankings. The following Thursday/Friday we weren't able to get the help we thought we had for loading the U-Haul truck. In spite of Meow's yeoman's efforts moving the furniture aggravated my rib pain and three more days of not spanking. During these past two weeks we have also cleaned up and moved out of the condo where I used to work (I lost that job last June). Multiple leads for work starting in September has fallen through.

Finally we've had a couple of days with good spankings. I hope you have read Meow's post about our trip to see family. I have already mentioned our not eating out with my family and will be firm about it. We are both going to be strict with our diets. I will give Meow all my love and support, including daily spankings and punishment spankings as we will agree upon today.

Love to all, Lash

HOORAY!

I am doing so well after my Left carpal tunnel release and ulnar nerve transposition that my surgeon released me to proceed with my Right Carpal Tunnel Release tomorrow morning. I'll only need local anesthetic and propofol sedation this time-and yes, propofol is safe with an anesthesiologist giving it. I will be back to pecking on the keyboard with one (left) finger (or however that goes-Hermione). I'll still try to keep up on comments. In a few days we'll see how I do spanking left-handed and how our new tawse works.

Big furry hugs to all. Lash

Grumpy Lash

First of all a big "thanks" to Bonnie and everyone who has supported and linked to my new blog.

Grumpy: I agree with my wife's ("Meow Learns about Life") blog. The man was a vital mentor in the last two years of my post-doctorate training and we both enjoyed him. As usual Meow was a trooper and was a great host in spite of his wife. Meow is finally feeling some better-hopefully good enough for a good spanking tonight! We have both missed it.

Grumpy cont'. I had an excellent job about 75 minutes from the town we live in which meant easy commutes for us-especially for frequent cuddles and spankings. Radical-and stupid-changes forced me to quit my job in late June. I've also had surgery on my left wrist and elbow with pain and 6 weeks of disability, and now have to have the right wrist done in two weeks with another four weeks of disability-I'm putting off the right elbow. I've had two jobs lined up to start in September and both have fallen through-and neither had the decency to tell me! Both wrists and elbows are throbbing and I am frustrated! End of rant.

On the good and important side, I am clean and sober, I have Meow and our wonderful new relationship and we live in the Rocky Mountains. Lash

Wow! Such an outpouring of love and acceptance for my first blog. Thanks to all.

I'm mulling over Meow's love for the alpine tundra (see her last blog) while I am drawn to the sub-alpine and moraine forests. I need to think on that.

Meanwhile, I don't think I will add word verification or moderation to my blog (grin).

Lash.

The windmill of my mind continues... When Meow and I first started this DD D/S journey 6 months ago my biggest hang-up was: How can my intelligent independent and successful wife want to become (in certain areas) obedient and submissive? ie: weak? How can we do this and not make her subservient? I now realize that Meow found the strength to look honestly at her soul and the strength to accept what she really wanted and surrendered to it, even though it flies in the face of current Feministic dogma. There are so many times a day when I see Meow's actions and hear her words I am almost overwhelmed by the strength that lies behind it. Every time she puts her bare bottom over my knee I see amazing strength.

I can now relate her strength to my own story. In my prior blog I mentioned the spiritual event that first night in the recovery ward-the event that changed my life forever. For decades prior to that I had tried every way I knew how to really become a Christian and know in my heart that I was. Not long before I went into recovery my pastor asked what was standing between God and me and I honestly said that I didn't know. I had spent hours reading books and listening to tapes by John Bradshaw. One of the concepts he advanced had really caught my attention: "The Gods don't play fair".

He felt that when it was time for us to learn a lesson it was presented to us in harder and harder and more dire ways until we got it, or died.

The first night in recovery I was alone and knew that Meow had every right to divorce me and take the kids, that I could lose my job and profession and lose everything I thought I loved. Finally, the Epiphany! I offered a very profane prayer to God saying that God played dirty and unfair! I remembered several life-threatening lessons that I had ignored. I remembered that I had never, ever prayed to God without everything being based on my terms and conditions. I realized that I had to surrender, absolutely, willing to accept God's will for my life and my soul. When I did that I was surrounded and filled with the "Holy Spirit". I won't attempt to describe it. The closest descriptive word is rapture.

That made me ready for the 12 steps. 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable. 2.Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. MADE A DECISION TO TURN OUR WILL AND OUT LIVES OVER TO THE CARE OF GOD, AS WE UNDERSTOOD GOD.

Being obedient and submissive-sound familiar? Being obedient and submissive to God/Higher Power gave me the strength to go through those 30 days of pain in giving up my weakness, and the pain since. Total surrender gives me strength. The name of my favorite AA meeting was "Surrender to Win".

I thank Meow for catching onto a very powerful dynamic for both of us.

Yesterday I was very impressed with J Flame's honesty and courage in blogging about being an alcoholic; it brought back many memories, starting with pain. Today I was impressed with Ginger's blog about "Pain is a sign of weakness leaving the body". And so thoughts began spinning in the whirlwind of my mind-a different type of pain but still apropos.

On January 26th I celebrated 20 years in recovery for alcoholism and narcotic addiction. I have vivid memories of the pain I caused for Meow and family, friends,co-workers and many innocent bystanders. I remember the pain of my emptiness that could not be filled and knowing I was totally controlled by addiction and was not-so-slowly committing suicide. I was at my bottom of my abyss. I knew I would die soon. During the first night in a "recovery ward" I had an indescribable spiritual experience that was life shattering and life altering.

And then came 30 days of "recovery". Six hours a day of "group therapy" for six days a week. That's when I had the continual pain of weakness leaving my body. The weaknesses of guilt, shame, anger (especially that wonderful righteous anger), dishonesty, greed, being a victim, pride, arrogance... the list went on and on. Group therapy relentlessly exposed these weaknesses and held them in my face until I had to let them go. Group therapy used the pain of my weaknesses to strip my soul bare for all to see.

But then came the deliciousness and joy of recovery. My Higher Power began to fill that emptiness. The 12 Steps and the Big Book lead me into a new way of thinking and living. AA's loved me from the first meeting on. I have never been to a 12 Step meeting that I haven't seen a miracle in a person's life. Many miracles have occurred in my life.

The pain of weaknesses still jabs me into awareness as I peel the layers of the proverbial "onion" of my soul. The Myers Briggs, The Enneagram, many spiritual and religious teachings all point to accepting and leaving weaknesses on a path of redemption.