Spanking Meow has been an evolving process. When Meow first said she wanted a serious spanking-to and through tears-my first reaction was negative. Seeing so much verbal abuse and some physical abuse @ home (my mother on my father) I was very averse to any thought of "hitting" a woman. With my suppressed anger I have been afraid of any physical expression of violence. The few times I have let go of my anger it immediately went to rage. So anger zips into depression or physical ailments without my ever feeling the anger. On a more positive note I consider myself a "gentleman" in every positive sense of the term. Several women I have worked with over the years have said: "You are a gentleman-most men today don't even know what that means".
Of course society, especially the "feminist" movement was also an influence. (A place where I worked a few years ago was interesting; a woman could accuse a man of sexual harassment board for opening a door for her or stepping back and letting her step in front of him. I was not impressed.)
So the thought of giving Meow a serious spanking sent me into guilt and shame. I had serious anxiety about it-almost panic in a few instances. It took months to increase my ability to spank Meow. Her constant assurance was invaluable. Reading many blogs by other people, mainly women, also helped me realize that spanking was really a good and desirable thing. I realized that there is a whole community of people who love TTWD. I know there are many different communities of people doing consensual things that are important to them, whether they are accepted by society or not. I also found that I could control my anger so my spanking would be appropriate (never in anger, never leaving bruises, never going too far, etc.)
I need to explain that I am a Reiki Master/Teacher. I have given Meow Reiki many times and I am familiar with her chakra energy flow. I began to be able to "read" Meow's energy during a spanking and understand what she was needing. I could continue spanking her after the tears started until she got to where she needed to be. I could also feel her female energy flowing. I could sense how much more feminine she was feeling. With this step it became far enjoyable. I began to feel my male energy for the positive power it can be. Over time I started feeling a sense of "I am a good man and what I am doing is good and right. I am finally becoming the man I was meant to be". A fantastic sense of intimacy was developing between us. And now, in my 60's, I have learned that I have a need to be dominant and to spank.
In my last step (so far) I-and we-have notice how strongly our male and female energies are flowing and melding together creating an incredibly intense intimacy; an intense feeling of harmony. Of course this is a perfect time to make love, which we sometimes do. However, the spanking is done for the sake of the spanking and sex does not have to follow. With my loving wife always available for me, I don't need to use spanking as an "excuse, a tool" to lead to sex.
I hope this personal journey may be of help to others, men and women.
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