Saturday, July 30, 2011

Meow's Crying

Meow recently had several great comments on her blog, with the last one asking about her crying during a spanking. Meow and I are both responding. At first it was very difficult for Meow to cry, regardless of how hard the spanking was. I have seen a gradual progression of crying as she has been able to let go and let her frustrations, anxieties and fears flow out of her with the tears. I think this has taken extraordinary courage and strength. She is essentially baring her soul to me with nothing left to hide. She has to trust that I will continue to love her regardless of what she says or what she feels. She can be completely vulnerable and still be safe and accepted.

A while after her foot surgery we started to spank again and she had another breakthrough. She has lost her fear of the pain and accepts it in without reacting to it. She uses the pain as a trigger to release the "gunk". She also uses it to relax and enjoy the melding of our male/female energies into one and to enjoy the intimacy. As she has written she sometimes starts a joyful mantra. When we cuddle afterwards she often continues the release and relaxes into me enjoying our energies and our intimacy.

I have had a similar experience with a given situational pain. For decades I have had painful trigger points and spasms of entire muscle groups in my back. I have had a wonderful massage therapist who hasn't been afraid of "going too deep". Over time I lost my fear of the pain and knew what bliss I would feel at the end. When she starts working on a painful area I first tighten up and then relax some. As she keeps working on the area it becomes more and more painful. At some given point something triggers within me and I am able to accept the pain and completely relax the area. Even though she goes in even deeper I can simply accept the pain. It almost seems like an old friend coming back to me. I know that it is going to lead to such bliss when she is done. The only limit to the pain is when it gets so bad I am ready to vomit, and she backs off for a while.



Daisychain said...

I enjoyed this post, and could relate to it well....I think I know what you mean about the pain; I certainly at times have been in great pain during a spanking, and all of a sudden it feels like, the energy leaves me and I sort of feel floppy...and suddenly the spanking is verging on enjoyable!
I think that when being spanked, part of the body/mind reacts to it almost as an attack, and resists, it puts up defences, so the body is tense, awaiting the next stroke... and because the recipient is tense, it hurts more. Eventually, if the spanking continues/intensifies, it surrenders, gives in to the attack, and at this point, because it is relaxed, it is able to embrace the pain, accept it almost as a friend!
Thats how I see it, anyway.

I also have an idea of the pain caused by muscles seizing in the back; and, oh, my LORD, am I sorry for you having to suffer that! When I had a trapped nerve in my neck, the pain was so bad, if someone had handed me a gun, I would have shot myself. The doctor put me on incredible cocktail of pain meds, including sedatives to relax the spasms in the muscles, to no avail, I ended up drugged to the eyeballs and incoherent on morphine for 3 weeks! Poor Lash! xxxxxxx

Lash said...

Thanks Daisy, It is nice to know that someone understands what you are saying. I hope your nerve problem is better, and never comes back!

findingsara said...

It takes a lot of work for a couple to get to this place. For me, sometimes it's almost like a form of meditation, to process the pain, accept it, stay open, let it all flow ....the psysical & emotional aspects.....I think you might know what I mean? Sara

Lash said...

Thanks Sara,

Yes I do Sara. Runners have their "zone"; their mind is far away and not even aware of their surroundings. I think I am in a similar state of mind. The pain is there but my mind is disconnected from my body-almost seems like someone else's body. It's only being close to vomiting that brings me back.

Yes, I have found something similar in meditation and self-hypnosis. I don't understand the space-time continuum but my mind is not present with my body or it's physical location. But my metaphysical thoughts are for another blog.


Katherine said...

Thank you for sharing this, Lance. I'm so glad I asked! I want to be able to get to this place; hopefully in time, I will.


Lash said...

Katherine, Glad it is helpful. I think knowing something is obtainable is helpful.


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